


The family dreams are made of.

by Margorobron



Category: Coronation Street
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-13
Updated: 2017-06-13
Packaged: 2018-11-12 12:06:19
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,110
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11161503
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Margorobron/pseuds/Margorobron
Summary: Daniel is not coping with life. He tries to find a way of getting some peace but it doesn't work out as he planned. Then to his surprise, he gets his perfect ending.





	The family dreams are made of.

Daniel walked into the flat he had lived in since he was a boy and slammed the front door behind him. He threw himself into an armchair and closed his eyes. He gripped the arms of the chair as he went over the events of his current life.  
He considered his father, a figure virtually non existent in his life until very recently. He had returned to Weatherfield in order to rekindle his relationship with him. He had been on his own for too long. He hoped that now that he was no longer a child, his father might have more time for him. He actually felt that this was indeed the case. He showed interest in his studies and was giving him the backing he had always craved, until it became totally overpowering.  
Daniel was hoping to go to Oxford to read English literature, a subject very close to the heart of his father, but he hadn't accounted for meeting Sinead. There was something about her from the moment he set eyes on her and getting into conversation with her added to his fascination. She was easy to talk to and she brought out a lighter side of his character which seemed to have been dormant for years. He had created for himself a boring sort of life completely encompassing his passion for learning. All work and no play, however makes Jack a dull boy and Daniel could easily see himself in Jack. Sinead changed all of that. He felt an excitement when he saw her coming and was compelled to spend time with her. He hadn't quite realised how deeply he was falling until it was too late. So late, in fact, that he discovered that she was pregnant and the child was definitely his. His head was in a whirl as he balanced family life with Sinead and their baby and continuing to strive for a place at Oxford. Daniel had craved a family all his life. It was something he had never had and the opportunity of finally being in that situation totally overwhelmed him. He scrapped all thoughts of Oxford in favour of his dream happy ever after family. For the first time in his life, Daniel felt really alive. He had exciting plans, not just for himself, but for two others. They were going to be a family unit. He couldn't have been happier.

He felt like he must be living in a bubble. Things like this never happen to him. He went about his day smiling to himself as he thought of his wonderful future with Sinead and their son or daughter.  
Then he knew for sure that he was living in a bubble, because it burst, with a resounding explosion. Sinead was telling him about a golden opportunity in Oxford and how he must go for it. There was nothing to hold him back now as there was no baby. She had lost it. Daniel was distraught. He must support Sinead in this tragedy, because it was going to be even worse for her, but how could he support her when his own heart was shattered into tiny pieces. His happy ever after dream family had vanished before his eyes. He was so overcome by grief, that nothing else mattered any more. He picked up a book, a gift from his father and he read the inscription. He read it again and again. He had heard this somewhere before. Where had he heard it?  
In a blinding flash he knew. Sinead had said those words to him when she was telling him that there was no baby. Was this a coincidence? He had thought they were unusual words for her to say to him . Lost the baby? Really?  
In an instant, the jigsaw fell into place. This baby had not been lost by natural causes. This situation was now screaming abortion at him. Sinead had done this on purpose. She had had her pregnancy terminated. The most precious thing he had ever possessed had been removed from him on purpose. Why? He wasn't completely sure, but he was absolutely positive that his father was behind it. He wanted him to go to Oxford to pursue his own dream for him, a dream he was never able to achieve. He had told Sinead that she was holding Daniel back and his words had brought about the termination of the baby's young life.  
Daniel had never felt so angry.  
He went to see his father. He accused him of murdering his unborn child and all he could talk about was Sinead holding him back and how much he would regret it in years to come. He was really talking about himself and his misspent time which never permitted him to grasp the accolade he most wanted all his life, even up to the present. Daniel waved the book at him and told him that Sinead quoted it at him when she told him that his baby was no more. Could that possibly be a coincidence? Of course not!, His hope of his dream family had not gone by accident. It had been manufactured by the man with whom he was conversing at the top of the stairs. He was so angry that he threw the book. His father tried to avoid it but he couldn't and to add to the situation, he lost his balance. He fell the length of the stairs and ended sprawled across the carpet at the bottom. Daniel gasped and all of a sudden, his temper was gone as he realised what had happened. There was no sound and his father wasn't moving. Daniel panicked. He believed he had just killed his father. Was this karma? His father's life for that of his murdered child? People wouldn't see it like that. He must get away . He picked up the book which was splattered with blood. His father's blood. He must get away from here. No one would know it was him. It could be any one of his family members. They all had reasons aplenty as to why they may have wanted to kill the stubborn conniving old man. Daniel climbed over the silent body and made for the door. Looking up and down the street, he quietly closed the door behind him and set off for the flat he shared with Sinead. Luckily she wasn't home. He needed a hiding place and grabbed at the carpet which covered the middle of the room. With a little persuasion, he managed to lift a floor board and put the blood stained book down in the hole, straightening the room just in time to hear Sinead returning. He washed his hands thoroughly to be absolutely sure there was no evidence and was able to greet her with his usual composure, leaving her totally oblivious.  
He hadn't intended to injure his father, let alone kill him, but the damage was done. He waited for news of the accident and was more than a little relieved to hear that the old man had recovered from the fall and was unable to remember anything that happened. Daniel's secret was safe, for the time being.  
This was a while ago. A huge police investigation was launched to discover who had tried to kill the head of the Barlow clan and he had managed to slip through their clutches. The only family member who suspected him was his nephew Adam, but no one ever took any notice of him. He, however was considered the golden boy. It wasn't until he found himself alone with his father in the flat which had been his home for most of his life, that his father put two and two together and realised that the culprit of the attack was here on his own with him.  
Would he have finished him off? Was he truly considering it?He never quite worked that out.  
Someone was trying to open the front door. With a key. No one had a key except him. Apart from his mother who walked out the door one day years ago and never came back. It was as though he never existed to her. No word, no call, nothing. Until now.  
Here she was, trying to open the front door. She had been passing and seen that the house was for sale, so she decided to take a chance on the reception she might get and see if her son was there.

Daniel couldn't believe his eyes. Why was she here and why now? Why of all times should she be opening the front door in to this particular moment. Did his dad owe his life to her? Was his life actually in danger?  
Now his mind was in turmoil. One minute his mother was telling him that she missed him every day when she was away and wished she had had the courage to return sooner and he actually believed her, until he overheard her saying that her traveling years were the best times in her life.  
Daniel had suffered more than anyone could possibly realise when he was living on his own. He was lucky that he was so hungry for knowledge that he couldn't wait to get to school each day even though he had suffered regularly at the hand of bullies. He found out the hard way that swats are not the popular ones in the class. He had no one to turn to when he got home after a painful day. There was no sympathy or support and not even food on the table. He was lucky that at least his mother had not challenged him cashing the family allowance. How else was he supposed to survive? He certainly learnt the skills of managing finances or rather scraping through. Sometimes, on his darkest days, he would sit in a corner of his bedroom, cold and hungry and literally in the dark to save on electric. He would wonder what he had done to deserve both of his parents walking out on him. He realised that his father had no idea that he was actually alone, but he had convinced himself he wouldn't have been interested anyway.  
It was in these dark days that he began to understand that there was nothing in him that endeared him to anyone. No one had any time for him. He didn't deserve to be wanted and cared for and dare he say loved? Some times this hurt him so much, that the only way he could deal with it was to endure even more pain. It surprised him how long he needed to keep his finger in the match flame before he could actually feel the benefit of it. He knew all the places on his body which were safe targets because they wouldn't be seen. A cut here, a burn there and then the calm and satisfaction of knowing that now he really had something to feel anguished about.

As he moved towards adult hood, the desire to suffer decreased and he began to congratulate himself a bit more at surviving the rest of his childhood without being found out and taken into care.  
Now, however, he was back on his familiar stomping ground and the self loathing had returned. He was dealing with the members of the Barlow clan which was an art in itself. He had lived with the guilt of what he had almost done to his father, endeavouring to keep his name off the unofficial family suspect list, which was even more to be feared than that of DC MacKinnon. Now he had his mother to throw into the melting pot. Could she be believed in any way with the things she had told him or was it all a lie to cover up a hard hearted self centered woman who never had a care about anyone in her life?!  
To top all that, it seemed like his beloved Sinead had moved back in with Chesney. After all he had been through, the only true love he had ever had, had made up her mind that he was a rotten apple and must be avoided at all times. What else could he do but return to his old friend self harming. That would help him to cope with his life as it now was.  
Could his sad life get any worse?  
To his surprise, yes it could. He overheard a discussion on the availablity of some drugs. If he took some, that surely would take him out of this vile rat race for an hour for two. He jumped at the opportunity and couldn't wait to get home and make its acquaintance.  
But that was where it all changed.  
He was sitting on the floor in the corner of his bedroom. This was going to be something new, something he hoped would improve the days and weeks ahead. This would help him to cope. He felt the relief in that thought. He smiled to himself as he settled down to enjoy the peace and tranquility this moment would bring him...  
And yet,......  
He found himself looking around at machines and tubes, monitors beeping, everything clean and white and clinical. This isn't right. This isn't his bedroom. This isn't the calm and tranquility he was expecting to be feeling right now. Something wasn't right here, of that he was certain, but he couldn't quite get his head round exactly what was happening.

His focus improved and he studied the room further to realise that he was not alone. Two people were keeping him company. He squinted at them and soon recognised them. The man tapped the woman's arm and motioned towards him.  
"Daniel!" The woman was on her feet. " Thank God! You gave us such a fright!" she said.  
"What are you doing here ?" He barely recognised his raspy voice. He turned away from her.  
" I've been so worried about you!" was the reply.  
" That's a lie!" he said, sounding as forceful as his newly acquired voice would allow. " You have never been worried about me!"

", Just because I didn't come back...." His mother began.  
Daniel's head shot back round.  
" Doesn't mean you didn't care? Is that what you were going to say? Were you really going to dare to tell me that?'" Daniel was doing his best to shout at her now, despite the cracks in his voice.

" Yes I deserve that, I know, but I really did think about you every day, however you might like to twist it!" his mother told him. " I did like the traveling, I can't say I didn't, but when I got into bed at night, before I went to sleep I thought about you. Of course I felt guilty. I knew I had done wrong, but I was ill Daniel and now you know a bit about how that feels. You aren't far away from where I was. Could you be responsible for looking after a child?"  
"Oh my God, what wouldn't I give to have the chance?" Daniel said, hands gripping on to the bed clothes " but HE had other ideas. He took away that opportunity for ever! For the first time in my life, I felt alive! I actually had someone who loved me, enough to want to spend her life with me and bring up our child! That's what I went to sleep thinking about all those years! Having a family. Being a part of a proper family and not forever being on my own with no one to love me and no one to care if I lived or died!" Tears began to fall as Daniel re lived the pain of losing that opportunity.  
"Now she doesn't want to know me. She's telling me to stay away from her. She doesn't realise how she is breaking my heart. She doesn't realise how much that little family meant to me. She doesn't realise that her love knocked Oxford firmly on the head. There was no competition! Only in HIS head! "  
Daniel was crying and shouting and raised the attention of the nurse who was caring for him. As she rushed in, she took one look at the state of him and checked his monitor.  
" I'm afraid I'm going to have to ask you to leave." she said to his parents." Daniel needs to rest."  
"And don't bother to come back!" Daniel shouted as they prepared to leave. " You aren't welcome!"  
He covered his face with his hands and continued to sob.  
The nurse prepared an injection.  
"Daniel, she said," I'm going to give you something to calm you down."  
Calm and peace once again returned to the hospital room as the injection took immediate effect and Daniel relaxed into a peaceful drug induced sleep. The nurse heaved a sigh of relief and scribbled some notes onto his chart before leaving. 

 

The injection worked well and Daniel was much calmer when he woke up. His nurse was beside him doing various checks as he took a deep breath and looked around to make sure that his parents weren't lurking in the room somewhere.  
"How are you feeling!" The nurse enquired.  
Daniel put his hand to his head.  
"Fragile" he replied.  
The nurse smiled at him.  
" You're going to feel like that for a while" she told him. "Your body has had quite a shock."  
Daniel nodded. "It was meant to stop everything. " he told her. " I just wanted the world to stop for a while. I wanted to get off."  
"Did you intend to cause this much damage ?" she asked . "You really screwed up you know. You didn't know what you were doing did you"  
"No not exactly" Daniel told her " but on the other hand, had I not woken up, it would have been better for everyone, especially me."  
Daniel closed his eyes as he allowed himself a moment to consider this.  
"How long have you been harming?" the nurse asked quietly.  
Daniel's eyes shot open again.  
"We notice things like that," she told him."We are trained to find them, however clever you think you've been "  
Daniel felt ashamed briefly, but as he shut out her voice, he assured himself that there was nothing wrong with what he had done.  
" The doctor will be doing his rounds in a bit" the nurse told him." He will be asking you about how you are feeling and why you have been harming, just to get the full picture of how you are. He may ask you to think about getting some help too."  
Daniel's stomach turned over. Counselling? No! He didn't need counselling. There was nothing wrong with him. He was a survivor. A survivor of the system. He didn't need to fall foul of it now!  
"You get some more rest" the nurse told him, smoothing the bed covers." It will be time for the evening meal in half an hour. Are you hungry?"  
Daniel didn't answer. He closed his eyes in the hope that everything would go away. The nurse left him.

It was two days later in the middle of the afternoon that something unexpected happened. Daniel was staring at the wall. He seemed to be doing a lot of that. He was justifying and rationalising and trying to categorise so many events in his confused, troubled life. He had been told to expect someone who would ask him lots of questions and despite his greater efforts, he had been unable to avoid chats with Helen. He knew what they were about. He wasn't stupid. She was trying to get inside his head. Definitely not a good place to be, he joked with himself. Surprisingly, he was co operating quite well and she was pleased with his efforts and his openness. He actually found her chats somewhat soothing as between them they analysed thoughts and actions, trying to make sense of things which had made none until now. Helen was a scholar and she appreciated this quality in Daniel. She looked forward to her chats with him. They were a challenge, but also a refreshingly high powered study of a complex, driven brain. This was no text book case. She had never met anyone quite like Daniel before.

She had completed her session for the day and Daniel was re thinking parts of their chat when he realised someone else was in the room. To his surprise, he discovered Sinead standing at the foot of the bed, supposedly wondering whether or not she should be there. Daniel was instantly back in the room and pulling himself to a sitting position.  
" Sinead" he said, totally surprised to see her." Bring a chair over."  
Sinead grabbed the chair.  
" Sorry," Sinead dithered " I didn't bring any grapes."  
Daniel smiled. " I'm not keen on them anyway"he told her.  
" Thank you for coming" Daniel said, avoiding eye contact.  
" I probably shouldn't have" Sinead told him.  
" But I wanted to explain to you. I just hoped you would hear me out. After that, it's totally up to you, of course."  
Sinead sighed. "Well now's your chance!." she said.  
" I didn't mean to hurt him. I read the inscription in the book and I recognised it as the words you said to me when you told me about the baby and I suddenly realised that it wasn't a miscarriage. It was all his fault. He had taken away my dream. My big dream was never Oxford. It was important, yes, but it would never come close to having a family, someone to care for me and want to be with me, as much as I wanted to be with them. I had never been a part of a real family..That was my big dream and my dream had come true. I had never felt so happy in my life. Suddenly I had everything. Someone to build a future with and, the icing on the cake, I was going to be a dad! I was in heaven. But all of it was taken away from me and it was down to him! I went there to tell him what I thought of him. That honestly was what I intended to do. He had gone upstairs to fill the kettle and I started to tell him what I thought. He tried to justify his actions and then I lost it. I threw the book at him It actually hit him on the head and then he over balanced and fell down the stairs. I panicked and I left him there. I came back home and buried the book under the floorboards. I knew it was an accident, but other people probably wouldn't believe me, so I let everyone argue amongst themselves and kept quiet. The only reason that it happened at all was because he had broken my heart, yet again, but this time I didn't know how to repair it. Now, you have wiped me out of your life, so not only have I lost my baby, but I have also lost the love of my life.......and I don't know how life goes on from there. Nothing has a purpose any more, certainly not Oxford. I'm finished."  
Daniel looked at Sinead. " You can believe me or not, but that's the total truth." he said quietly.  
"I believe you" Sinead told him, equally quietly. " I argued with people that it wouldn't have been you. You wouldn't do something like that. But then I had the evidence in front of me that it was you after all. I felt totally betrayed. I still can't believe that it happened. It's not in the character of the person I know. Am I blind or maybe stupid? How did I never see that you had that side to you? I suppose you didn't want me to and you're clever. But now you're telling me that that isn't a true side of you. It wasn't premeditated. It was an accident. I can relate to that. And then, people were saying you had killed your mum too and that totally threw me. I couldn't get my head round it all. Now I've seen her, alive and well, so I know that wasn't true. I've been so confused. I've been told you've been self harming. Is that true?"  
Daniel silently pushed up the sleeve of his T shirt to expose burn marks. Sinead gasped.  
"Why have I never seen them?" she asked  
" When my mother left, times were hard. I lived on my nerves, thinking that I might be taken into care at any minute. I was being bullied at school, I had virtually no money. I often sat in the dark because I couldn't afford the electricity. Sometimes I couldn't eat. I tried to work out why this was happening to me. Was I that bad that no one wanted me? My way of rationalising the feeling of rejection and lack of self worth was the harming. I did it for a few years. Then I got older and I talked myself round and I stopped. I only started doing it again when I lost you."  
Sinead nodded silently. "And then the overdose" Sinead said.  
" I didn't plan that either." he explained. " I didn't know what I was doing."  
Sinead nodded again. "Are they giving you some kind of treatment?" she asked.  
," Therapy sessions to try to sort my head out." he replied. " They're probably wasting their time though. They want me to try positive thinking. When am I likely to do that?! I don't have a positive thought in my body!"  
" It's not like you to give up " Sinead told him. " You've been a fighter all your life. You would never have survived being on your own otherwise "  
" But I had an aim, a goal to strive for. To get a place at Oxford and do something worthwhile with my life." Daniel told her.  
"So you can do that again. Carry on with your studies and win your place at Oxford. Then you will go from strength to strength!" she said.  
Daniel shook his head. "Not any more" he said. " I have now experienced the real world and I can't go back."  
" The real world?" Sinead queried  
"Haven't you heard a word I said? " Daniel snapped at her. " I had a family. A real family. Now my family is gone! Forever!"  
Sinead recoiled slightly at the tone and Daniel realised. " I'm sorry." he said." I'm just so bitter. You have no idea how I feel "  
"I think I've got a fair idea" she told him.  
"You've always had family. You've never felt unwanted, impossible to love, alone in the world. Unless you had experienced that, you wouldn't be able to understand how it feels to be given it and then have it snatched away again. " Daniel told her.  
"What if it wasn't snatched away" Sinead said.  
"It's pointless thinking about that." Daniel told her. " It's gone, over.  
" Is there any way you could get it back?" she asked him  
" No. You have made it amply clear that you want nothing to do with me. You're back with Chesney." Daniel told her.  
" But if you could get it back? That would make a difference?" Sinead said.  
" Pigs might fly" Daniel told her.  
" You said I wasn't listening to you, but now you aren't listening to me." Sinead told him. " I've told you my feelings but you haven't heard them."  
Daniel looked at Sinead for the first time. "What are you telling me?' he asked her.  
"I'm saying I believe it was an accident. I understand that you panicked and tried to hide it. I can appreciate that you have been left with nothing and your dreams have been shattered. So have mine!"  
" I'm sorry. "Daniel told her. " The last thing I ever intended was to hurt you. I love you."  
"I know" Sinead told him. "And I love you."  
"But that's all gone. You've finished with me. You don't want me any more." Daniel replied sadly.  
"Daniel, I can't stop loving you. You fulfilled my dreams too. Without you I have nothing. My life has lost its purpose "  
"So, what exactly are you telling me?" Daniel asked her.  
"That I still love you. I want to be back with you. I want us to be together. I want us to be that family. " she told him.  
" We can go back together? We can be a family? You can put everything behind us and start again?" he asked her.  
"Not start again. Just carry on where we left off " Sinead said. " You can get past this. I will help you. I will back you going to Oxford if you decide you want to go. We can have another baby, but a planned one this time. We can do this, Daniel, together!"  
Daniel stared at Sinead, not believing what he had just heard.  
Sinead on the other hand thought she had got it all wrong.  
" Oh. Sorry. I thought that was what you wanted. I think I misread the vibes. " she said.  
"No!" Daniel said. "No you haven't. I just can't believe what I'm hearing. You are telling me that we are back together, aren't you?"  
"Well, yes, that's what I want, if you want it too" Sinead affirmed.  
Daniel opened his arms to Sinead and they hugged each other.  
" I just can't believe it!" Daniel said " Oh Sinead, I will not let you down again, I promise!"  
" I let you down too."Sinead told him. " I didn't give you a chance to explain. But that's in the past now. All we have to do is get you better and out of here and we will be back on track "  
"I love you so much" Daniel told her.  
" And I love you too." was the reply. " I'm going to leave you now and move back in to the flat and wait for you to be ready to come home. I will be here to see you tomorrow. You concentrate on your positive thinking."  
"Oh believe me, that's not going to be a problem." Daniel assured her. " I'm so glad you came to see me"  
"So am I," Sinead replied" but this was not the outcome I expected. I can hardly believe it."  
They shared a kiss and Sinead left.

The staff could not believe the change in Daniel from this point on. Helen was thrilled with his positive thinking and was soon ready to release him. As soon as he was given his discharge notice, Sinead was there to pick him up and continue their plan of creating the family dreams are made of!


End file.
